Pictures from a simpler time (earlier in the summer)...
Mom I'm like a doctor. Doctors don't need pictures!
Well, we are coming up on three weeks and Callie is still in the NICU. The nurses are trying to make it sound better than it is and they say things like, "Oh she's starting to make progress. The light bulb will click any day and she'll be home soon." But I know the truth...she is never coming home. I'm going to be doomed to visit her in the hospital for the rest of my life. I love going to visit, but I get this overwhelming wave of depression every time I have to put her down and leave which makes it hard to go. I feel like my life is incomplete and even though I want it to be normal it just can't seem to get there. Nate says he feels a lot like that which makes me think that maybe I'm not so crazy after all.
Anyway, she is up to 6 bottles and 2 gavages a day, but she has yet to finish all six bottles. She's starting to wake up for her feedings and she'll cry and try to eat her hand, which is really cute. She is also starting to be awake a little more for her feeding which is fun. She makes cute little baby noises and I don't care what anyone says she is smiling, even though I'm sure its on accident. She can keep her little eyes open and look around and every once in a while I get the impression that she actually looks at me. She is getting bigger and this week I've really been able to notice it. She is beautiful and perfect and I can't wait for her to come home.
We've had a lot of help which we all appreciate, Having another adult in the house lets me run to the hospital more often so I feel less neglectful of Callie. Nancy came to visit for a few days and kept Kenna entertained and even helped put together Callie's nursery which was not yet finished when she made her debut. She took Kenna on walks, to the park, and even made an outing with her and her cousins to the zoo where they all rode together on a camel! If that wasn't enough she also cleaned my house which hasn't been cleaned since my mom was here. When she left my dad came out and was able to keep Kenna equally entertained with trips to the duck pond where they saw a bird eat a lobster (crawfish) and games of hide-and-seek. He even managed to do some handy work around the house, which we really appreciate.
It was great to have them here although I did not spend much time visiting. I didn't even see my dad until 24 hours after he got here because I stupidly decided to work on Labor day. I thought it would take my mind off of Callie, which it did, but I returned home tired and grumpy. Between hospital runs, pumping, my afternoon nap with Kenna and my bedtime of 9 o'clock, I probably only spent a few hours having conversations with either visitor. Thanks for coming anyway. We appreciate it.
Lix also decided that I still needed to have the baby shower which had been planned for mid September. She and another friend, Tiffany put it together and we had a great time. The decorations were cute, the food was great and I was even able to talk about Callie to everyone there without any meltdowns, which was good.
This has been a big week for Kenna. She started ballet and preschool and for anyone who knows Kenna, this is a big deal. She is world's biggest baby and she cries over everything, so I've been worried about how she'd do being dropped off.
Ballet came first. She was super excited to go and I told her I could stay for the first class only. So she was good up until class started but then started tearing up and decided she didn't want to do anything. I stood by her but ignored her and after about 15 minutes she slowly started to participate and I was able to back off. She was very excited with herself and every time she did something she would look at me with the huge smile on her face. When class was over she ran up to me, gave me a big hug and said "I did it mom!" Though when I asked her if she was excited to go back next week she said no. We took a leaf out of Brad and Erica's book and started having her say, "I can do hard things. I can do scary things." every morning. I hope it helps and I'm glad we are starting her in activities now so that the shock of school doesn't kill her.
Preschool was today. I picked out some clothes for Kenna who then told me she wanted to pick out her own clothes. She chose a dress and once it was on she told me, "This dress is so pretty!" I'm glad she felt beautiful for her first day. We picked up Jenna and headed over. I tried to go over the pledge of allegiance on the way since they'd be learning it at school and when I got to the word 'indivisible' Kenna shouted out, "Just like Olivia is invisible!" (for those who don't love Oliva the pig as much as we do there is a book and an episode where Olivia pretends to do magic and become invisible). I dropped her off quickly so she didn't have time to cry. Lix picked the girls up and apparently Kenna did not cry at all! She said she had a lot of fun and her favorite part was the cookie that they made for snack time. She was so excited and wanted to eat it as soon as she got home. I'm proud of her for being a big girl. Here's to hoping she keeps it up!
