Unremovable Windex and Pooing Pine Trees

There were lots of times when my parents did things when I was a kid that left me speechless. You know, moments of braindeadness that made you wonder how you were made of the same DNA. I never understood. Now I understand

Our brain cells are dying and we have only been parents for 2 months. This is not good.

Example 1 - McKenzie was drying her hair upstairs and I walked into the bedroom. "Hey, there is a bird that just sits up in this tree and poops. I have been drying my hair for 5 minutes and he has pooped like 12 times. Watch out if you walk under there" she tells me. I started thinking and concluded that anything short of a pelican sitting on our pine tree or a flock of seagulls probably would not produce that much poo in a 5 minute window. Based on recent events, the only thing I know of that is capable of that much poo in such a short time period is a 10 pound toddler who lives in my house, smiles at me, and wakes me up at night. I glanced out the window to catch a glimpse of the pooing beast and saw the entire backyard covered in pine needles. Sure enough, they would fall off the tree as the wind blew them off at a rate of 12 needles per five minutes. I had to break the news to Kenzie, who was too tired to even be embarrassed at the faulty thought process that had just occurred.

Example 2 - Immediately following the pooing pine tree debacle I resolved to clean and wash both of our cars. I got my bucket, paper towels, windex (which is also a helpful remedy for cuts and scrapes), scrubber, and soap and headed to the driveway. I spend an hour vacuuming and cleaning the windows. Then, when I was on the last windshield, I sprayed the windex on to the windshield. In my defense, I was cleaning the Corolla which is a tiny car and quite a sqeeze for big old me. I started wiping the windex off and got to the very last bit of the window and noticed little specks of liquid still on my windshield on the side I already wiped. I leaned back over and started wiping them and stared in disbelief as they wouldn't wipe off. I tried again, for the third and final time without any luck. Only then did I realize the specks were from raindrops and they were actually on the outside of the windshield. I started to call the Pope and declare that I had found a miracle bottle of Windex that would never be wiped clean, but I hung up quickly when I found out it was just raining.

2 months down. We don't stand a chance.

Pictures for your viewing pleasure