Spoons

Before you read this and laugh, it is important that you understand that this is actually my life. I live here with these people and deal with these things everyday. The following is based on a true story.....

Once upon a time (about 6 months ago) Kenzie and I graduated from grad school. Kenzie's mom, dad, and crazy Uncle Will came to help us celebrate our scholastic achievements. And that is how it started. We had some Ben and Jerries in the fridge and Kenzie's mom goes toward ice cream like a Mormon to Utah so of course she claimed a small pint and grabbed a spoon from the drawer to aid her in her quest of eating the ice cream. As she grabbed the spoon Uncle Will asked her if she wanted to go to check out something in the town and she agreed. She took the spoon and the ice cream and started toward the door. Rookie mistake. Seriously. Kenzie stopped her dead in her tracks and asked her what she was doing. Dawnene explained that she was just going to take the ice cream in the car with her. I told her that was ok, as long as she promised to bring my spoon back. Of course I didn't really care if she brought my spoon back but it was something that I could give her a hard time about so Dawnene offered to leave it in the house, but finally left with it after I told her it was ok if she took it as long as she brought it back.

The next morning as we were all pouring bowls of cereal, I asked Dawnene if she remembered to bring my spoon in. Busted. She had forgotten. I was doing this all in jest and started giving her a hard time for losing my expensive wedding flatware (we actually bought the whole set for 20 bucks cause we found it in the discontinued isle at Bed Bath and Beyond). She started getting red as Kenzie chimed in about how I had told Dawnene to bring it in and yadda yadda. Dawnene headed out to the car to do a search and rescue to bring the spoon safely home. However, Uncle Will had decided to clean out the car the night before and tossed the pint of Ben & Jerries ice cream in the trash which he then took to the dumpster. And that is when it happened. I discovered McKenzie's OCD about spoons and having a complete set of silverware. She went off on her mom for losing the spoon and ranted and raved about now we had to buy a completely new set because we were missing a single spoon. I wasn't really sure if she was totally serious but it was obvious that she had a really deep relationship with the spoons.

Kenzies mom felt awful, graciously volunteered Brigham Young to go diving through the dumpster to find the lost spoon, and then Uncle Will demanded an inventory. Kenzie began counting the spoons in the sink, drawer, and then the dishwasher and came to the grand total of 12. All spoons present and accounted for. Kenzie looked a bit sheepish and said, "Well you are still not allowed to leave the house with my silverware anymore."

From this experience Uncle Will and I learned two things.

1. Do NOT take McKenzie's silverware outside the home.
2. Kenzie is kinda crazy sometimes.

Will came with his family to visit last weekend. They went to Virginia Beach after our house. After their visit we received the following pictures.....

Kenzie now has a bounty out on Uncle Will. 500 dollars - Dead or Alive. He is a strikingly good looking man with dark hair, dark skin, and a darker personality. He will most often answer to the name "Hill Billy Willy" and has often been seen seeking refuge in nudest colonies. Reward will be paid in cash.